Among the protests in Egypt and senseless murders right here in the U.S., newspapers and Internet articles are blazing with headlines with two specific words: 'redefining rape.' These articles all base off a recent proposed revision of the bill allowing women who have been the victim of rape to have a government funded abortion. This is not Roe versus Wade, abortion has been legalized since 1973. This is not a question of religion or the right to life. This is a question about whether or not a woman raped in one specific manner versus another is any less of a victim and therefor entitled to different or lesser available treatment than another.
A Republican named Chris Smith is proposing to revise this bill to only include a government funded abortion if the conception was spurned from a forcible rape, incest involving a minor or if the mother's life is in danger. That seems like a pretty broad spectrum at first, but then you realize that leaves out statutory and coerced rape. So what exactly is 'forcible' rape? To get down to the nitty gritty of it all, if a fourteen year old girl is groomed and seduced by an older man and it leads to a conception, she will not be eligible for this kind of funding. If a young woman goes out on a date with a man she knows and he forces himself on her, she is not eligible. If a young woman goes to a party and someone slips a tranquilizer into her drink with the sole purpose of taking advantage of her once she passes out, she is not eligible.
This proposition does not redefine what rape really is with in the confines of the law, which is sex without consent. It isn't going to re-write the judicial system, a man who uses a date rape drug or has a sexual interaction with a teenager is not going to have their sentences lessened by this proposed situation. It is not going to change how we handle offenders, it is going to change the options for victims if they're low income. In a sense I feel that in a case of statutory rape the offender should be forced to pay for the abortion. The reality of that situation is that by the time the legal proceedings get to a point that he finally has the blame placed on him and he's being held responsible for his actions, she may be too far along to have an abortion. In any case of rape that results in an abortion, I feel that the assailant should be forced to also pay the estimated average cost for that procedure as part of their legal dues.
Again, we aren't redefining rape in a sense of legal liability. They're attempting to redefine it to save tax dollars. It's easy to try to cut costs when the ones who are being affected aren't a part of your day to day life. Telling a young woman she isn't eligible for an abortion because she wasn't brutally assaulted by a stranger but instead was drugged at a party and taken advantage of by someone she just met wouldn't be a situation that the politicians behind this revision will ever have to go through. I dare a single one of them to take an hour out of their lives and visit a young woman who has been the victim of an assault. To watch as a doctor breaks the news to her that she is, in fact, pregnant. But I think at this point the opposing politician should step in and have the opportunity to explain to her that despite her low income status, she is not eligible for an abortion because she wasn't raped a certain way. To keep a straight face and an empty heart and tell her that because she wasn't conscious to tell them 'no', that essentially because she went on a date wearing that dress, that because she's underage and was seduced by an older man who took advantage of her, she's not eligible for government funding. That is pretty much what every councilor and social worker is going to have to do. They will have to tell them that in a sense they're less of a victim because they weren't violently attacked or because they weren't seduced by an adult family member.
Rape is defined by the Webster-Merriam Dictionary as : "unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent". That should be pretty cut and dry, don't you think? We aren't redefining what rape is by law or by definition, what they're trying to do is redefine which low income victims are eligible for pregnancy termination. By definition they are still a victim of the same crime, so why should they be considered less in need of assistance?
Rape isn't a poor man's crime, anyone can be a victim and anyone can be a predator. You aren't safe because of your financial status, race, gender or age. Our low income citizens are the ones that are the most susceptible as they tend to live in areas that have a higher crime rate. I've seen recent news articles regarding sexual assaults by a news reporter and two juvenile counselors. From time to time a priest or a boy scout leader is accused of assault. These are people with college educations that have the potential of living in a nice neighborhood. These people are not the ones that we would normally think of when it comes to a sexual predator. For the most part they seem to prefer to prey on lower income citizens. Another case recently in the news focused on men who were videotaping themselves sexually assualting disabled women, some that were so disabled that they had no idea what was going on or that were unable to communicate what had happened to them. What if one of these women became pregnant? They're on social security no doubt and their housing and medical is being paid for by the government, but if this bill gets redefined then this funding would not be available for them.
In the long run the young woman will be denied financial assistance to terminate an unwanted pregnancy resulting from having one too many drinks or being violated on a date. She wont be able to afford an abortion and will be forced to carry the baby to term. She'll be faced with the possibility of putting the baby up for adoption, but at some point during the pregnancy she'll feel it move and there will be that confirmation that she is really carrying a baby. A flood of emotion and hormones will follow and she'll be torn. She'll most likely keep the baby and for the next eighteen years our tax dollars will pay for the medicaid, food stamps and other government assistance that will be needed to raise this baby. This woman's life will be forever altered.
I know for those who are Pro-Life I may sound heartless. I mean, do we really want to end the life of an unborn baby? Honestly, I'm not thinking about the outcome. I'm thinking about the basic rights of the victims in question and I'm questioning the individuals who actually had the audacity to even begin proposing this.
This article was posted while I was writing this blog. It appears they've withdrawn their attempt at applying the term 'forcible rape' to this bill, attempting to explain that they never meant to exempt anyone from the funding at all. They're going to keep it per the language used in the Hyde Amendment. It makes you wonder if that was really the case, but if it was not then why would they have even attempt to revise it to begin with? As T. Bert Lance said "If it ain't broke don't fix it."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Stand Up
At what point does a mother have to step in to defend her twelve year old child from being bullied? That seems like a pretty cut and dry question, doesn't it? Especially when your child has conditions like ADHD and PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), which puts him in the Autism Spectrum. The problem is that I'm attempting to raise a young man who can stand up for himself and by rushing to the school for every incident instead of advocating that he report it himself seems to be counterproductive. What happens when the bullying becomes violent or sexually harassing? That is when every bit of 'mother bear' in you leaps forward, ready to take on anything or everything.
But, what if the bully harassing your son happens to be a girl?
A few months ago, my son began complaining about the outlandish behavior of a girl a grade higher than himself on the bus. I urged him to go to his guidance counselor regarding this right away. His school teaches grades sixth through eighth, each grade has its own designated guidance counselor. His guidance counselor immediately passed the buck and directed my son to speak with the bully's grade's guidance counselor. However, no matter how many times my son attempted to gain an audience with the eighth grade guidance counselor he could never get it. My son goes to a magnet school and all of his classes are gifted/advanced. My son makes amazing grades, rarely does he even bring home a B. He does this all on his own. With the intensity of the classes that he takes missing class time actually hurts. They've got so much to learn in such a small amount of time everyday, taking even twenty-minutes to address this situation means that he's missed something vital.
David came home on January 12th telling me about the same girl on the bus stabbing him with what he referred to as a 'softball cut in half with a thumbtack sticking out of it' and she threatened to send things and people over to his home to molest him if he did not give her ten dollars for 'crack money'. The 'crack money' demand has been an ongoing theme since October of last year.
I, like most people, work. I do have the luxury of working from home, but it is a job where I am required to stay on the phone and to be dedicated to my inbound customers needs so I have a set schedule. By the time I got off of work that day to hear about this I immediately called the school to speak with the guidance counselor. She had already gone home for the day as had most of the other personnel. I left a message with the adult office assistant to have the guidance counselor call me back. The following day I did not hear from her and my son verified that the girl had not lessened her antics in the least. I called the school again, but it was after I had gotten off of work so everyone that I wanted to speak with had already left. This time I was forwarded to her voice mail and I left her a message. She called back the next day. Now we are on January 14th, a Friday, but apparently the girl was not in school that day.
My son filled out four pages full of accusations against this girl. From menial bits of bullying to full blown stuff that really makes you wonder what is wrong with this child. The guidance counselor stated that she understood that this was serious situation and that she would take care of it. In reality, she handed the situation off to the Vice Principle to speak with her. To a certain degree I understand that my son's guidance counselor over sees the seventh graders, so therefor this eighth grade girl was, to a point, out of her 'jurisdiction'.
We rolled into a nice four day week-end after that. Come Wednesday she's still harassing my son as though nothing has been done. I urge my son to give it one more day, that I was confident that it would be taken care of tomorrow. I try to call the school, no one answers. Thursday comes and my son reports that she punched him and kept shrieking into his ear repetitively. I've just spoken with the guidance counselor earlier that day and she tells me she is sending home his 504 plan for me to review and sign. She tells me that the Vice Principle handled the situation so I assume that that means that there will be no further incidents. That evening, after hearing about the further harassment, I sign the 504 plan and I include a note that states if this situation is not taken care of I will be escalating it. I am trying so hard not to be a psycho-mom, not to be irate and out of line and marching in to the school's office and making the situation even worse. The guidance counselor stated that she would pick up the 504 plan from my son the following day so I feel that it will be addressed. Friday comes and goes, the girl continues her behavior and my son still has his 504 plan. The weekend cools me down.
I got off of work half an hour late yesterday. I had one of the most belligerent customers on the phone that just did not know when to stop talking and listen. He'd ask me to explain something to him and then immediately begin arguing with whatever he did not like. I explained the same things to him four times before the call finally ended. I spent fifteen minutes writing up a report for my company's vendor manager regarding this customer. I walk out into the rest of the house and I call to my daughter to let her know that we need to hurry before the post office closes. I am instead met by my son as he completely explodes. He paces, he's frantic, he's angry. He tells me that today, among other things, that she stuck a maxi pad to his backpack.. I am still emotionally drained and my blood pressure is still raised from dealing with my last customer of the day. I am not ready for this sort of emotional explosion. I become angry along with him and I grab the phone and place another pointless phone call to an empty school.
A few decisions follow my son's outburst. I go onto the school website and I log a bullying complaint to the school district. I call my supervisor and tell her to get someone to cover my shift. I jot down the superintendent's name and contact information. I post a witty, macabre mother bear facebook status update. I did everything but smear on some warpaint or sacrifice a virgin. I was ready to do battle.
Today is January 25th, we are now thirteen days from the point when I first attempted to contact the school regarding this issue, nearly two weeks. I made certain that I was dressed nicely with my hair and makeup done. I waited patiently in the front office. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted them to listen to what I had to say. I told the secretary that I wanted to speak with the Principle or the Vice Principle, which ever one is available. The Principle walks by me a few times, the secretary says nothing. I ask her if that was the the Principle, she agrees but tells me that I need to speak with the Vice Principle first. A man comes out and tells another parent waiting in the office that the Vice Principle is busy observing a classroom and wont be available for a while. The Principle comes back through the office and stops to ask the secretary who the parents are waiting for. They speak for a moment and then the Principle looks at me.
"I actually asked for either the Principle or the Vice Principle, whichever one is available. It sounds like the Vice Principle is busy right now though," I say. He nods and furrows his brow in confusion. He invites me into a conference room.
I like this man, he loves his job and it is apparent with everything he does. The fact that he is retiring means that our school system is losing a great asset. When I dumped this on him he was flabbergasted by the whole event. He hadn't been informed of it, and really hadn't needed to be if the Guidance Counselor and Vice Principle had taken care of it like they were supposed to. But here I was laying it down for him, he took a long moment to think. He apologized and asked if he could be excused to go get the Guidance Counselor and an Assistant Principle.
The Assistant Principle I felt bad for. This was her second day on the job, but she owned her position. Perhaps it was a good thing it was her second day because she is still in that honeymoon phase of wanting to impress people.
The Guidance Counselor was grace under fire although I know she had to have felt that I was attacking her in some way by dragging the Principle and now the Assistant Principle into this. She attempted to pass the blame to my son, stating that he never came to her about the issues after his initial report of them on January 14th. My reply? He didn't have to do anything after he gave her four pages of accusations. That girl should have been reprimanded based on that alone. Anything else my son reported is secondary.
When I was in eighth grade I shaving creamed a boy at the bus stop one morning. Crying, he ran home to change his clothes and he missed the bus. His mother drove him to school and raised hell about what I had done. I was suspended from school for two days. Shaving creaming someone, while it was still not a good decision on my part, is a prank. It was not meant to be malicious and honestly was the most malicious act I ever did against anyone my entire Junior High school career. The same day I committed the act, I had my punishment served to me. There was not a near two week waiting period. I came home and cried and trembled while my mother screamed at me. This is the same school system and the same grades involved. While I understand that my incident was almost twenty years ago, what has really changed since then? My son's school is plastered with Anti-Bullying propaganda, it's a media topic for crying out loud. You would think that this would be handled swiftly. Maybe if my son had been a girl and he had been harassed by a boy in these manners, they would have acted quicker? Could this just be a case of sexual discrimination?
I 'held court' with these three school officials this morning and the new Assistant Principle took ownership of the situation. I was promised results and that they would speak with the Vice Principle and find out why he hadn't held up his end of the deal.
The one question that everyone had to ask is 'what about the bus driver?' Bus drivers have a job on a whole that I do not envy, especially once you get to middle and high school students. They are trying to drive a school bus full of screaming, obnoxious tweens and teens to and from school. Did I mention the part about driving? I can barely drive with my two kids fighting in the car, let alone forty more. If the school bus driver doesn't catch a glimpse of the wrong doing in his mirror between swerving to miss people coming home from Happy Hour or any other possible catastrophe on the road, he's oblivious. He's most likely just trying to get the little heathens safely off of the bus so he can go home and consume large amounts of Southern Comfort before he has to get up the next morning and do it all over again all the while counting down the days until retirement. While it is a bus driver's job to transport our students safely back and forth to school, it is impossible for them to be both drill sergeant and driver.
I did urge my son to tell the bus driver, to write a note and slip it to the driver in the morning as he is getting on the bus -- Anything! -- but my son never did it. It is difficult to gain a private audience with the bus driver without the other students overhearing that you're snitching. With my son's conditions (I hate that term!) he very much so lives for the moment. I tell him the night before to write a note and give it to the bus driver, by the next morning he has forgotten. It is no longer a compelling situation for him. He has vented to mom and he has slept; he feels loved, understood and safe. Now he's going to go back out into the world optimistic that it is going to be a great day, just to have it all squashed again. The Guidance Counselor wanted to know why when she approached my son at lunch over the last week and asked him how he was doing that he never told her that the harassment has continued. That answer is really simpler than she may believe. You are approaching a twelve year old boy in front of his male friends (and the young lady that he's been trying to impress since fifth grade) and you are asking him to tell you whether or not that girl is still bullying you. Now, my son may be the more sensitive type, but I assure you he is all male and has the pride to prove it. He isn't going to confess to this embarrassing situation in a public setting.
Hours have passed and finally the Assistant Principle has called me with an update. The bus driver and the superintendent for public education transportation have been alerted. A bullying form has been received and the school received a call from whomever I contacted with that website last night. They spoke with my son and with the girl. The girl apparently is a good student without any known behavior problems. She sat in the office and cried and volunteered to write an apology note to my son. Her parents were called. The Assistant Principle assures me that if I had met this girl in any other setting I would not have believed she would have done any of those things. That I would say 'Wow, you're a really nice girl, but boy did you just make some really bad decisions.' I feel a little pang of guilt, remembering my own really dumb decision with the can of shaving cream almost twenty years ago and for all intents and purposes I had been a pretty nice girl myself. Then I am reminded, she punched my son and punctured him with something sharp. She stuck a maxi pad to his backpack. Maybe she is a 'really nice girl', but she wasn't behaving like it. I'm going to hope that perhaps this whole situation was the ounce of intervention that was needed to stop a 'really nice girl' from completely screwing up. Her actions are her own, and if this was unbecoming of her normal behavior or how she perceives herself then she needed this wake up call. But really this girl is not my concern. My own children are my concern.
I'm frustrated by the whole thing; that it was allowed to go this far. That I sat back for months and pushed for my son to be proactive and report her himself. But that is not like him, he is still working on that sort of ... ability? I refuse to ever throw my hands up in the air and say 'It's his condition, he just can't!' and then spend the next fifty years coddling my son, who would become a man-child who doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. I am raising him to not view his conditions as a disability, but an ability. He has such a unique perspective and feelings about the world around us that he is an asset to our future. He will have to learn to champion for himself because mom isn't always going to be there. When he's thirty years old I can't go to his job and report to his boss that a coworker has been stealing his lunch from the break room. I do feel justified though, once the situation turned physical I had every right to step in. I just wish my son -- and the school system -- hadn't allowed it to get that far.
But, what if the bully harassing your son happens to be a girl?
A few months ago, my son began complaining about the outlandish behavior of a girl a grade higher than himself on the bus. I urged him to go to his guidance counselor regarding this right away. His school teaches grades sixth through eighth, each grade has its own designated guidance counselor. His guidance counselor immediately passed the buck and directed my son to speak with the bully's grade's guidance counselor. However, no matter how many times my son attempted to gain an audience with the eighth grade guidance counselor he could never get it. My son goes to a magnet school and all of his classes are gifted/advanced. My son makes amazing grades, rarely does he even bring home a B. He does this all on his own. With the intensity of the classes that he takes missing class time actually hurts. They've got so much to learn in such a small amount of time everyday, taking even twenty-minutes to address this situation means that he's missed something vital.
David came home on January 12th telling me about the same girl on the bus stabbing him with what he referred to as a 'softball cut in half with a thumbtack sticking out of it' and she threatened to send things and people over to his home to molest him if he did not give her ten dollars for 'crack money'. The 'crack money' demand has been an ongoing theme since October of last year.
I, like most people, work. I do have the luxury of working from home, but it is a job where I am required to stay on the phone and to be dedicated to my inbound customers needs so I have a set schedule. By the time I got off of work that day to hear about this I immediately called the school to speak with the guidance counselor. She had already gone home for the day as had most of the other personnel. I left a message with the adult office assistant to have the guidance counselor call me back. The following day I did not hear from her and my son verified that the girl had not lessened her antics in the least. I called the school again, but it was after I had gotten off of work so everyone that I wanted to speak with had already left. This time I was forwarded to her voice mail and I left her a message. She called back the next day. Now we are on January 14th, a Friday, but apparently the girl was not in school that day.
My son filled out four pages full of accusations against this girl. From menial bits of bullying to full blown stuff that really makes you wonder what is wrong with this child. The guidance counselor stated that she understood that this was serious situation and that she would take care of it. In reality, she handed the situation off to the Vice Principle to speak with her. To a certain degree I understand that my son's guidance counselor over sees the seventh graders, so therefor this eighth grade girl was, to a point, out of her 'jurisdiction'.
We rolled into a nice four day week-end after that. Come Wednesday she's still harassing my son as though nothing has been done. I urge my son to give it one more day, that I was confident that it would be taken care of tomorrow. I try to call the school, no one answers. Thursday comes and my son reports that she punched him and kept shrieking into his ear repetitively. I've just spoken with the guidance counselor earlier that day and she tells me she is sending home his 504 plan for me to review and sign. She tells me that the Vice Principle handled the situation so I assume that that means that there will be no further incidents. That evening, after hearing about the further harassment, I sign the 504 plan and I include a note that states if this situation is not taken care of I will be escalating it. I am trying so hard not to be a psycho-mom, not to be irate and out of line and marching in to the school's office and making the situation even worse. The guidance counselor stated that she would pick up the 504 plan from my son the following day so I feel that it will be addressed. Friday comes and goes, the girl continues her behavior and my son still has his 504 plan. The weekend cools me down.
I got off of work half an hour late yesterday. I had one of the most belligerent customers on the phone that just did not know when to stop talking and listen. He'd ask me to explain something to him and then immediately begin arguing with whatever he did not like. I explained the same things to him four times before the call finally ended. I spent fifteen minutes writing up a report for my company's vendor manager regarding this customer. I walk out into the rest of the house and I call to my daughter to let her know that we need to hurry before the post office closes. I am instead met by my son as he completely explodes. He paces, he's frantic, he's angry. He tells me that today, among other things, that she stuck a maxi pad to his backpack.. I am still emotionally drained and my blood pressure is still raised from dealing with my last customer of the day. I am not ready for this sort of emotional explosion. I become angry along with him and I grab the phone and place another pointless phone call to an empty school.
A few decisions follow my son's outburst. I go onto the school website and I log a bullying complaint to the school district. I call my supervisor and tell her to get someone to cover my shift. I jot down the superintendent's name and contact information. I post a witty, macabre mother bear facebook status update. I did everything but smear on some warpaint or sacrifice a virgin. I was ready to do battle.
Today is January 25th, we are now thirteen days from the point when I first attempted to contact the school regarding this issue, nearly two weeks. I made certain that I was dressed nicely with my hair and makeup done. I waited patiently in the front office. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted them to listen to what I had to say. I told the secretary that I wanted to speak with the Principle or the Vice Principle, which ever one is available. The Principle walks by me a few times, the secretary says nothing. I ask her if that was the the Principle, she agrees but tells me that I need to speak with the Vice Principle first. A man comes out and tells another parent waiting in the office that the Vice Principle is busy observing a classroom and wont be available for a while. The Principle comes back through the office and stops to ask the secretary who the parents are waiting for. They speak for a moment and then the Principle looks at me.
"I actually asked for either the Principle or the Vice Principle, whichever one is available. It sounds like the Vice Principle is busy right now though," I say. He nods and furrows his brow in confusion. He invites me into a conference room.
I like this man, he loves his job and it is apparent with everything he does. The fact that he is retiring means that our school system is losing a great asset. When I dumped this on him he was flabbergasted by the whole event. He hadn't been informed of it, and really hadn't needed to be if the Guidance Counselor and Vice Principle had taken care of it like they were supposed to. But here I was laying it down for him, he took a long moment to think. He apologized and asked if he could be excused to go get the Guidance Counselor and an Assistant Principle.
The Assistant Principle I felt bad for. This was her second day on the job, but she owned her position. Perhaps it was a good thing it was her second day because she is still in that honeymoon phase of wanting to impress people.
The Guidance Counselor was grace under fire although I know she had to have felt that I was attacking her in some way by dragging the Principle and now the Assistant Principle into this. She attempted to pass the blame to my son, stating that he never came to her about the issues after his initial report of them on January 14th. My reply? He didn't have to do anything after he gave her four pages of accusations. That girl should have been reprimanded based on that alone. Anything else my son reported is secondary.
When I was in eighth grade I shaving creamed a boy at the bus stop one morning. Crying, he ran home to change his clothes and he missed the bus. His mother drove him to school and raised hell about what I had done. I was suspended from school for two days. Shaving creaming someone, while it was still not a good decision on my part, is a prank. It was not meant to be malicious and honestly was the most malicious act I ever did against anyone my entire Junior High school career. The same day I committed the act, I had my punishment served to me. There was not a near two week waiting period. I came home and cried and trembled while my mother screamed at me. This is the same school system and the same grades involved. While I understand that my incident was almost twenty years ago, what has really changed since then? My son's school is plastered with Anti-Bullying propaganda, it's a media topic for crying out loud. You would think that this would be handled swiftly. Maybe if my son had been a girl and he had been harassed by a boy in these manners, they would have acted quicker? Could this just be a case of sexual discrimination?
I 'held court' with these three school officials this morning and the new Assistant Principle took ownership of the situation. I was promised results and that they would speak with the Vice Principle and find out why he hadn't held up his end of the deal.
The one question that everyone had to ask is 'what about the bus driver?' Bus drivers have a job on a whole that I do not envy, especially once you get to middle and high school students. They are trying to drive a school bus full of screaming, obnoxious tweens and teens to and from school. Did I mention the part about driving? I can barely drive with my two kids fighting in the car, let alone forty more. If the school bus driver doesn't catch a glimpse of the wrong doing in his mirror between swerving to miss people coming home from Happy Hour or any other possible catastrophe on the road, he's oblivious. He's most likely just trying to get the little heathens safely off of the bus so he can go home and consume large amounts of Southern Comfort before he has to get up the next morning and do it all over again all the while counting down the days until retirement. While it is a bus driver's job to transport our students safely back and forth to school, it is impossible for them to be both drill sergeant and driver.
I did urge my son to tell the bus driver, to write a note and slip it to the driver in the morning as he is getting on the bus -- Anything! -- but my son never did it. It is difficult to gain a private audience with the bus driver without the other students overhearing that you're snitching. With my son's conditions (I hate that term!) he very much so lives for the moment. I tell him the night before to write a note and give it to the bus driver, by the next morning he has forgotten. It is no longer a compelling situation for him. He has vented to mom and he has slept; he feels loved, understood and safe. Now he's going to go back out into the world optimistic that it is going to be a great day, just to have it all squashed again. The Guidance Counselor wanted to know why when she approached my son at lunch over the last week and asked him how he was doing that he never told her that the harassment has continued. That answer is really simpler than she may believe. You are approaching a twelve year old boy in front of his male friends (and the young lady that he's been trying to impress since fifth grade) and you are asking him to tell you whether or not that girl is still bullying you. Now, my son may be the more sensitive type, but I assure you he is all male and has the pride to prove it. He isn't going to confess to this embarrassing situation in a public setting.
Hours have passed and finally the Assistant Principle has called me with an update. The bus driver and the superintendent for public education transportation have been alerted. A bullying form has been received and the school received a call from whomever I contacted with that website last night. They spoke with my son and with the girl. The girl apparently is a good student without any known behavior problems. She sat in the office and cried and volunteered to write an apology note to my son. Her parents were called. The Assistant Principle assures me that if I had met this girl in any other setting I would not have believed she would have done any of those things. That I would say 'Wow, you're a really nice girl, but boy did you just make some really bad decisions.' I feel a little pang of guilt, remembering my own really dumb decision with the can of shaving cream almost twenty years ago and for all intents and purposes I had been a pretty nice girl myself. Then I am reminded, she punched my son and punctured him with something sharp. She stuck a maxi pad to his backpack. Maybe she is a 'really nice girl', but she wasn't behaving like it. I'm going to hope that perhaps this whole situation was the ounce of intervention that was needed to stop a 'really nice girl' from completely screwing up. Her actions are her own, and if this was unbecoming of her normal behavior or how she perceives herself then she needed this wake up call. But really this girl is not my concern. My own children are my concern.
I'm frustrated by the whole thing; that it was allowed to go this far. That I sat back for months and pushed for my son to be proactive and report her himself. But that is not like him, he is still working on that sort of ... ability? I refuse to ever throw my hands up in the air and say 'It's his condition, he just can't!' and then spend the next fifty years coddling my son, who would become a man-child who doesn't know how to take responsibility for himself. I am raising him to not view his conditions as a disability, but an ability. He has such a unique perspective and feelings about the world around us that he is an asset to our future. He will have to learn to champion for himself because mom isn't always going to be there. When he's thirty years old I can't go to his job and report to his boss that a coworker has been stealing his lunch from the break room. I do feel justified though, once the situation turned physical I had every right to step in. I just wish my son -- and the school system -- hadn't allowed it to get that far.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Left With No Other Choice
There are a few things that get under my skin when it comes to dealing with people on the internet. People who insist in posting in all caps and people who rite lik dis. Other than those, that’s really it. Or at least it was until recently.
So, let me get this straight. An Astronomer makes a big discovery. Our little rock in the universe, the planet Earth, has wobbled a whopping 23 degrees since the Babylonians first began reading the skies. So this Astronomer then declares that this changes our Zodiacs because in affect the constellations have shifted from our perspective.
An Astronomer has made a declaration about Astrology.
Let’s step back into time when we were still in school and we turned our science text books to the chapter about Astronomy. Do we all remember when our science teacher glowered down at us and made certain that we understood the difference between Astronomy and Astrology? They made certain that we understood that Astrology was based off of myths and legends and that Astronomy is based off of scientific findings and fact. These are two different things and should not be confused with one another.
So why do we have an Astronomer who doesn’t understand his place in universe? I have no idea. With that said just because he’s an Astronomer doesn’t mean that he can’t have an interest in Astrology. Much like a professional football player could have an interest in all known works of Chaucer or a professional con-artist may pick up painting while serving time in prison. It’s good to have hobbies. However, before you go on television declaring that you’ve made a radical discovery you may want to cool your heels a bit and read up on what makes the Zodiac that we as Americans follow, what it is.
Because you know that the minute this rubbish was announced there was some woman standing in her Minneapolis bathroom rubbing A+D Lotion on her new Leo tattoo, still raw and healing, when she heard the Astronomer on the television in the next room make this declaration. She most likely burst into tears at the realization that she had another tattoo that just became obsolete. Much like the tattoo of Hank across her left bicep which had originally only been inked three days before she found him in bed with her cousin. These things happen.
Yes, the planet has wobbled, I am not arguing that. But we as Americans use the Western Zodiac, or the Tropical Zodiac. This particular Zodiac is actually attuned to the seasons and not to the actual constellations. Libra is affixed to one solstice and Aries to the other. A solstice happens twice a year when the sun’s apparent position in the sky reaches its northernmost or southernmost extremes. While the Earth 'wobbling' has shifted the constellations by twenty-three degrees it honestly is not enough to slide the required constellations out of the sky, especially when you realize that the dates and zodiacs determined within them are actually not being dictated by the constellations at this point, but by the solstices. This is the same Zodiac that has been in affect since the second century, used by the Greeks. Zodiacs followed by some Hindu and European believers will be affected as they use the Eastern Zodiac, which use the sidereal coordinate system.
Astrologers and Astronomers alike agree that this is old news and have been making appearances on both television and radio talk shows trying to debunk this viral misinformation, but the masses seem to be clinging to the idea of a zodiac change. Some because they didn’t care for their zodiac before hand and some because they must enjoy change or drama or just don’t know any better. It’s become some sort of bandwagon event where any uninformed individual jumps on and proclaims their new astrological identity. Facebook has an application for it now where users grant it permission to access their information and it in turn tells them what their new zodiac sign is. Honestly, it most likely is spamming your information for marketing research, but people love to use these things. Much like the ‘Click here for 300 Farm cash’ or ‘Click here to see why this girl killed herself’. It’s a bot set up to continue to spam your friends. The saddest part is I see the same people doing it over and over again.
Of course these are the same people that don’t seem to want to believe that the zodiac change panic was just that, a panic. Nothing real to be taken seriously. If you try to explain this to them, they normally cling to whatever else they’ve heard from someone else, that the Earth ‘wobbled’. Guess what? Really strong winds can make the day longer by exactly one millisecond, but I don’t feel anymore tired or robbed of sleep because of it.
Do I believe I am who I am because I was born under the sign of a Taurus? No, I do not. I did not take an interest in Astrology until I was in my twenties and by that point my personality, for the better or for the worse, was already established. I did not feel that due to my Taurean natures that I’m suppose to give in to being stubborn and unmoving about everything. In fact, I am very stubborn, but that is a trait that I’ve always had and I strive to learn to overcome. Could I be an Aries? Sure I could, but that’s because the descriptions for Zodiac signs on a whole are painfully vague. There are characteristics in all twelve of the zodiacs that I can relate to and traits that I think are the furthest from the truth.
Twelve zodiacs. That’s right, they’ve also announced the secret, illegitimate, thirteenth love child of the universe, the long lost Zodiac, Ophiuchus! The Babylonians omitted it for a reason, whether it be because it was more Feng shui to have twelve or out of superstition, I don‘t know. Suddenly an Astronomer -- remember kids, they base everything off of science and facts -- comes along and attempts to put some sort of scientific reasoning behind Astrology -- something based off of belief, myth and superstition -- and the whole world is turning its self upside down. Am I the only one that sees that this is like an Atheist trying to prove God’s existence? Are you any less a Gemini today than you were two weeks ago? How about a Cancer or a Pisces or whatever sign you believed you were up until two weeks ago? Did you even know what character traits your sign was associated with before this whole dumpster fire started? Did you even care? Why don’t we just take a nice picture of the zodiac wheel and blind fold you, spin you around and then whatever star sign you stick the donkey tail into you get to keep?
In short, before you join into the mass hysteria and begin plotting to cover your tattoos or get a brand new one, use the internet and do a little bit more research. We, as human beings, have been given the ability to come to our own conclusions. We can learn, grow and even change our minds. The majority of these online and newspaper articles regarding the supposed 'Zodiac change' are really just re-posting what they found elsewhere. Kind of like when FOX published an Onion article with the apparent belief that it was a real article (the Onion is a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek website full of obviously fake news articles). When researching information, how many times do we run across the exact same explanation, word for word, on multiple and unaffiliated websites? Copy and paste, my friends. In 1948 the Chicago Tribune reported that Dewey defeated Truman for presidency. Guess what? It was both printed in the newspaper and yet still incorrect. Truman won. Right now, this media monster is winning because we are feeding it with every Google search, tweet or status update regarding this supposed Zodiac change. We’re feeding the hysteria by not educating ourselves. I understand that some people believe that the stars chart their lives, but for most it seems the media dictates what they believe and do.
Some News Articles to Support My Case:
New Zodiac Signs 2011: Debunking a Zodiac Astrological Controversy.
No, you zodiac hasn't changed.
Zodiac: The New Zodiac Not Accurate.
So, let me get this straight. An Astronomer makes a big discovery. Our little rock in the universe, the planet Earth, has wobbled a whopping 23 degrees since the Babylonians first began reading the skies. So this Astronomer then declares that this changes our Zodiacs because in affect the constellations have shifted from our perspective.
An Astronomer has made a declaration about Astrology.
Let’s step back into time when we were still in school and we turned our science text books to the chapter about Astronomy. Do we all remember when our science teacher glowered down at us and made certain that we understood the difference between Astronomy and Astrology? They made certain that we understood that Astrology was based off of myths and legends and that Astronomy is based off of scientific findings and fact. These are two different things and should not be confused with one another.
So why do we have an Astronomer who doesn’t understand his place in universe? I have no idea. With that said just because he’s an Astronomer doesn’t mean that he can’t have an interest in Astrology. Much like a professional football player could have an interest in all known works of Chaucer or a professional con-artist may pick up painting while serving time in prison. It’s good to have hobbies. However, before you go on television declaring that you’ve made a radical discovery you may want to cool your heels a bit and read up on what makes the Zodiac that we as Americans follow, what it is.
Because you know that the minute this rubbish was announced there was some woman standing in her Minneapolis bathroom rubbing A+D Lotion on her new Leo tattoo, still raw and healing, when she heard the Astronomer on the television in the next room make this declaration. She most likely burst into tears at the realization that she had another tattoo that just became obsolete. Much like the tattoo of Hank across her left bicep which had originally only been inked three days before she found him in bed with her cousin. These things happen.
Yes, the planet has wobbled, I am not arguing that. But we as Americans use the Western Zodiac, or the Tropical Zodiac. This particular Zodiac is actually attuned to the seasons and not to the actual constellations. Libra is affixed to one solstice and Aries to the other. A solstice happens twice a year when the sun’s apparent position in the sky reaches its northernmost or southernmost extremes. While the Earth 'wobbling' has shifted the constellations by twenty-three degrees it honestly is not enough to slide the required constellations out of the sky, especially when you realize that the dates and zodiacs determined within them are actually not being dictated by the constellations at this point, but by the solstices. This is the same Zodiac that has been in affect since the second century, used by the Greeks. Zodiacs followed by some Hindu and European believers will be affected as they use the Eastern Zodiac, which use the sidereal coordinate system.
Astrologers and Astronomers alike agree that this is old news and have been making appearances on both television and radio talk shows trying to debunk this viral misinformation, but the masses seem to be clinging to the idea of a zodiac change. Some because they didn’t care for their zodiac before hand and some because they must enjoy change or drama or just don’t know any better. It’s become some sort of bandwagon event where any uninformed individual jumps on and proclaims their new astrological identity. Facebook has an application for it now where users grant it permission to access their information and it in turn tells them what their new zodiac sign is. Honestly, it most likely is spamming your information for marketing research, but people love to use these things. Much like the ‘Click here for 300 Farm cash’ or ‘Click here to see why this girl killed herself’. It’s a bot set up to continue to spam your friends. The saddest part is I see the same people doing it over and over again.
Of course these are the same people that don’t seem to want to believe that the zodiac change panic was just that, a panic. Nothing real to be taken seriously. If you try to explain this to them, they normally cling to whatever else they’ve heard from someone else, that the Earth ‘wobbled’. Guess what? Really strong winds can make the day longer by exactly one millisecond, but I don’t feel anymore tired or robbed of sleep because of it.
Do I believe I am who I am because I was born under the sign of a Taurus? No, I do not. I did not take an interest in Astrology until I was in my twenties and by that point my personality, for the better or for the worse, was already established. I did not feel that due to my Taurean natures that I’m suppose to give in to being stubborn and unmoving about everything. In fact, I am very stubborn, but that is a trait that I’ve always had and I strive to learn to overcome. Could I be an Aries? Sure I could, but that’s because the descriptions for Zodiac signs on a whole are painfully vague. There are characteristics in all twelve of the zodiacs that I can relate to and traits that I think are the furthest from the truth.
Twelve zodiacs. That’s right, they’ve also announced the secret, illegitimate, thirteenth love child of the universe, the long lost Zodiac, Ophiuchus! The Babylonians omitted it for a reason, whether it be because it was more Feng shui to have twelve or out of superstition, I don‘t know. Suddenly an Astronomer -- remember kids, they base everything off of science and facts -- comes along and attempts to put some sort of scientific reasoning behind Astrology -- something based off of belief, myth and superstition -- and the whole world is turning its self upside down. Am I the only one that sees that this is like an Atheist trying to prove God’s existence? Are you any less a Gemini today than you were two weeks ago? How about a Cancer or a Pisces or whatever sign you believed you were up until two weeks ago? Did you even know what character traits your sign was associated with before this whole dumpster fire started? Did you even care? Why don’t we just take a nice picture of the zodiac wheel and blind fold you, spin you around and then whatever star sign you stick the donkey tail into you get to keep?
In short, before you join into the mass hysteria and begin plotting to cover your tattoos or get a brand new one, use the internet and do a little bit more research. We, as human beings, have been given the ability to come to our own conclusions. We can learn, grow and even change our minds. The majority of these online and newspaper articles regarding the supposed 'Zodiac change' are really just re-posting what they found elsewhere. Kind of like when FOX published an Onion article with the apparent belief that it was a real article (the Onion is a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek website full of obviously fake news articles). When researching information, how many times do we run across the exact same explanation, word for word, on multiple and unaffiliated websites? Copy and paste, my friends. In 1948 the Chicago Tribune reported that Dewey defeated Truman for presidency. Guess what? It was both printed in the newspaper and yet still incorrect. Truman won. Right now, this media monster is winning because we are feeding it with every Google search, tweet or status update regarding this supposed Zodiac change. We’re feeding the hysteria by not educating ourselves. I understand that some people believe that the stars chart their lives, but for most it seems the media dictates what they believe and do.
Some News Articles to Support My Case:
New Zodiac Signs 2011: Debunking a Zodiac Astrological Controversy.
No, you zodiac hasn't changed.
Zodiac: The New Zodiac Not Accurate.
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